A for adjustment & C for compromise!!

A for Apple & C for Cat, seems to outdated and the new mantra is all about A for adjustment and C for Cat, adjustment as the dictionary meaning goes (Verb) means to adapt to the new or different environment and compromise means something accepted rather than wanted!! The process of adapting and compromising has turned into a lifestyle these days. It is rather funny to see that none of us, including me are leading our lives at our own terms, each thing we do and most importantly we don't do is because we need to adjust with and compromise for a few things in life!!

I am not for a minute talking about Utopia, i am talking of the real world around each of us. Adjustments and compromises are no doubt necessary for a healthy living and co-habitation, it makes life simpler and easier, but the big Question that arises is how much of it and at what cost should it come.

Trivial issues should definitely not matter, but adjustments and compromises at the cost of once's life, personal goals, principles are very unhealthy. Further adjusting all the time turns out to be a bad habit in itself, it kills the individuals capacity to voice his opinion..it sets wrong example for others too..Who is to gauge the extent of adjustment and compromise required??

As an individual we must learn to draw a line and stick to the stand that beyond this i shall not compromise and i shall not budge beyond a certain point, at the same time we must develop respect for other individuals and their respective boundaries too. This is essential because most of the time adjustments and compromises are involuntary in nature, they happen because they are inevitable, individuals are coerced emotionally, financially and also morally into it. If they were to happen voluntarily, then they would not be termed as adjustment and compromise, rite?

It is very important for us to learn to understand and respect people for what they are, we need to accept them without riders. Once we learn to do that, life becomes easier for all, mutual respect and regard for another individual's space is the key to a non-compromising life..or rather happy adjustments and a little compromise!!

poem on motherhood

A beautiful poem written by an unknown poet, go ahead .. and enjoy!!

Before I was a mom…
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a mom…
I slept as late as I wanted on weekends
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
Before I was a mom…
I cleaned the house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.
Before I was a mom…
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about childhood diseases.
Before I was a mom…
I had never been puked on-Pooped on-Spit on-Chewed on-Peed on-
Or pinched by tiny fingers.
Before I was a mom…
I had complete control of my mind,
My thoughts,
My body.
I slept all night.
Before I was a mom…
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a mom…
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a mom.
Before I was a mom…
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a mom…
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known,
The warmth-The joy-The love-The heartache-The wonderment-Or the satisfaction of being a mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a mom.

SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

Every time I visit a restaurant I end up seeing things which further strengthens my determination that I must not be frequenting this hotel again.
After placing the order, I generally have the habit of looking at folks who have occupied the other tables and inevitably my eyes get stuck on a cute little kiddo who is so excited of being in a hotel.
The kid is oblivious of its surroundings and is busy rattling its wishlist to his mommy, starting of from ice cream to pizza to dosa...., however what really grabs my attention is the child's hands. The child is so impatient and it has no mind to wait for the food to arrive ( so are we most of the time...) so the child first coyly picks up the forks and spoons on the table and start fidgeting with it.
Then with some boldness, it the turn of the bunch of straws that are kept on the table, the child very religiously picks up each and every straw and puts the same in its mouth. After ensuring that each of them are loaded with sufficient saliva the kiddo places them on the table... mind you on the table .....
Hey it does not stop here. The annoying act is yet to come and what adds to my irritation is not what the kid does, but what the mother does, who is otherwise busy chatting on the phone does. After giving the child a threatening look, she picks each and every straw, but wait a minute, she does something more childish that what the kid just did.
She places all of them back in the orginal glass where they were kept and gives herself a big smile for exhibiting her origamy skills.
Their order arrives and they gorge on it and leave the table after much fanfare.
The story does not end here.... Just as they are leaving a set of people arrive and directly head towards the same table which appears to clean but little do they know that the same set of straws are still donning the table.
The kid cannot be blamed but the parents.... they never get tired of bragging about their skills in parenting.. but what about learning some social responsibility themselves and thereafter teaching their kids ...

All about FATHERHOOD!!

The reason for this post is two fold, firstly after reading my previous post about my daughter, my friends wanted me to pen something more and secondly my husband ( my better half !!) on reading my previous article had very innocently asked me, 'How come your article has no reference to me?

That is when i decided to write something for my soul mate!! being madly in love with him, it is very difficult for me stop bragging about him as my husband, but i have resolved not to let it shadow my article on his FATHERHOOD!!

I can very proudly state that my husband does not fall in the normal category of a usual father!! Right from the day we realised that we are going to be blessed with an angel, he has been a great support. It may sound comical but it is true, except for that fact that i had the pregnancy bump, Ashe( as i fondly call him!) was also carrying in the virtual sense!! There was no single visit to the gynac, no single test, scan in his absence. Even for my fasting sugar blood test, he was fasting!! He had made up his mind that he will enjoy each and every day of this journey.

Pursuant to our daughter's birth, ashe has changed completely.. ayushi is the center of his life!! thought she means the same to me, ashe cannot look beyond his daughter.. there is no chores of ayushi that he deters from doing.. right from cleaning her potty, changing her diapers.. feeding her, talking her for walks, you name it and he does it!! I am glad that he does not belong to the catergory of chauvanistic men, who think doing these things are so unmanly!

There are nights when ayushi decides not to sleep ( like last nite) and as usual he takes over, sings a lullaby to her and puts her to sleep.... singing a lullaby and putting a baby to sleep may sound very simple right!?? well Ahas her own speciality in this also.. the usual norm about her is that she may take anywhere between 3-4 hrs to go to bed. These 3-4hrs are spent singing.. and swinging her cradle..that is definitely not an easy task, atleast at 2.00 AM after hectic day rite?? More so, Ashe is back from office only at 11.00 PM!! Since both of us are working, the kind of co-operation i receive from him is amazing.

What amazes me about Ashe is his ability and the ease in which he dons the role of a father, i have known him for almost a decade now, his sensitivity and the bonding he shares with Ayushi is truly heartwarming.. to be precise, both of them don't want to miss out on each other and make the best out of little time they get for each other..
People may be thinking that all fathers care for their little ones, so whats the big deal with Ashe?? The big deal is that he does things which men presume that women alone must be doing.. he is always willing to learn new things for Ayushi... he is not a man who calls out the women at home when the baby cries or when the diapers are soiled!! Trust me when i say this i trust my daughter with him more than anyone else at home.. he just know when to feed her, how to keep her happy ..and most importantly Ayushu too prefers her dad and she simply loves him..the smile on her face at the sight of her poppy is amazing..!

Honestly Ashe keeps my Ayushi( rather 'our' Ayushi- Ashe hates it when i say 'my' ayushi!) always pepped up and i am glad she has a father like this .... hey POPPY you are great !! :-)

MY ANGEL!

The word 'my angel' connotes- the messenger of god to me!! truly Ayushi has been the angel in my life. From the day i knew she was coming i had this strong feeling that she is a magical and is vested with miraculous power to heal. I am not an atheist, but my belief in God has never been very strong. Something about her presence made me connect more to God. I could feel the presence of God around me.
As i was gearing up for her arrival, troubles started pouring in. I was on and off the hospital for some or the other reason. The journey seemed very tiring, each visit to the doctor was filled with apprehension. The problems were never life threatening, but the entire ordeal was mentally exhausting. All my energy was dried up. But her presence in me was driving me to be cheerful. All i had to do was to call her out and she would in her own sweet way reassure me that things are going to be fine. She was there for me all the time.

My eagerness to see her started to grow by leaps and bounds. As each day passed I was growing impatient to see her. I would often request her to arrive soon, but she paid no heed to my request. She had secretly decided the date of her arrival. She was keen on proving my guesswork about her arrival wrong.

On Thursday night, suddenly my blood pressure shot up and i had bouts of anxiety, my sixth sense told me that she was coming home. But i was not willing to believe it. I presumed that she may take some more days to arrive. I was completely wrong. That night i went into labour, i realised that more than the excitement i was petrified. I was sweating in the winter night!! i was screaming my lungs out and courtesy Internet, the gory pictures of child birth came rushing into my mind!! i was trembling out of fear. I could not believe that this was me.

Suddenly a miracle happened!! i realised that this is the day i was waiting for all along and this is the day for Ayushi's arrival and here i am with so much of fear!! The excruciating pain within me just disappeared. The darkness around seem to get brighter. I saw a misty picture of ayushi emerging. Slowly my vision became clearer. Reality surprised me!! Ayushi was right there! i could not believe it!! My angel was just a few steps away from me. I wanted to hold her, embrace her in my arms... i realised she was all mine, she was a part of me!!
Unknowingly she has made me realise the truth that only God makes us and we mothers are the modes of bringing these angels on earth.....
The wait was over my darling, my angel... had arrived..